Thursday, 23 February 2012

The beginning. Every time.

So to start this blog that I'm really just writing for myself I'll start with a day that I didn't enjoy. Whenever I start a blog or a diary I never start it with a good days. I think its because I idolise the bad in my life like maybe the more I think about it the easier it will be when I inevitably repeat the mistakes again.

I guess I'm kind of hoping that if I write crap out on a site then it'll make sense like the things I forget will manage to mean nothing instead of destroying perfectly good days. I want to say 'I don't mean to rant' but why is that? I do want to rant I want to scream my feelings onto this site.

To be honest today was just a simple series of bad events but it could have all been avoided. I really wish I had thought things though. No. Scratch that. I think I wanted to mess up today. I went to bed way too late knowing I'd be tired and then I didn't even try to get the right stuff together forcing me to forget to take stuff into uni.

Well hell. Maybe I haven't gotten over my self destructive behaviour. Now I feel like I'm talking to myself but that's kind of the point isn't it? I'm trying to understand the things that my brain can't figure out with out typing them. Damn. I know I'm clever. I'm better than 99% ish of all the people I've ever met in my life. I'm not trying to brag here, just be factual. Only 1% of people in Britain have managed A level maths. Top that with Chemistry and Biology and I'm intelligent. But I'm no genius. I never will be I was spared those genetics.

I want to write a lot more. But now I'm eating into sleep time.

Goodnight. x

P.S. MLP is currently the only thing that can make me smile today, and if someone but me is reading this I had a really crap day. I'm usually not this down :/

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